Sunday, August 9, 2015

Six Months

August 2nd marked six months since Dennis entered heaven.  I'm not sure how it has been that long. "Life goes on," they say but it is a very different life than it was before.  I miss him every day.  I miss the small things like a clean windshield on the car.  Dennis always cleaned it for me when we got gas and I actually fill up the car and forget to wash it until I have driven away and am annoyed at all the bugs on the windows.  I miss the big things, like having someone to talk over the day-to-day things of life.  Brooklyn and I miss him.  There is no getting past that.

We have had a good summer.  I've not had a summer off since I was 16 and took my first part-time job.  I've loved having the time to spend with Brooklyn.  We spent a week in northern Wisconsin with my sister and her husband.  Brooklyn had her first chance to do some target shooting while we were there.  My cousin, Roger, took us to the rifle range and helped her learn how to shoot.  She did very well.  We fished and just relaxed.  I've done some work around the house but not nearly as much as I had hoped to do.  In between, we spent time with friends and did the typical summer things.

I'm taking a grief class.  Seriously not something I ever thought I'd be doing at this point in life. I'm doing OK overall but a number of friends have told me how beneficial Grief Share is so I started it last week. I'm sure it will help me walk through the many layers of grief. Losing a spouse changes so much in your life. Nothing is the same. I'm not sure any other loss, except maybe that of a child, impacts so much of your life.  I'm learning to live in this "new normal".  I miss the old normal but I'm trusting God as he writes this chapter of my life as well.

I'll be starting a new job soon.  Shortly after I left my job of 25 years, God opened the door for me to work part-time at Brooklyn's school.  It will be very different from what I have done for bulk of my career but it allows me to have off when she has off.  This is a real benefit for both of us to have the time together to heal and work through our "new normal".

God continues to provide for us and teach us about trusting him.  We are blessed by our friends who continue to support us in a variety of ways.  We have seen how God is using them in our lives.  We trust we are able to help others as we have been helped.

Please continue to pray for us.  There are days that are so hard.  We are learning to trust God deeper every day.

Dennis' Headstone