Conversations

There are conversations that I wish I was not having.  Many of them are with Brooklyn.  Sometimes they are subtitle teaching and other times very straight forward but I hope I am helping her prepare in case Dennis does not beat this terrible cancer.  

I’ve answered the question recently, “Is Daddy going to die from what is in his head?”  Ok, I’m glad she trusts us enough to ask and not just worry but how do you tell a child who finally has a Daddy whom she loves and who loves her, that she may lose him?  We chose to be honest.  Our response was, “We don’t know and the doctors are doing everything they can to help him.”  We also promised her that if a time comes when they can’t help Daddy anymore, we will tell her.

Last night she was sleeping with me because Dennis is spending a few days with his family.  Brooklyn asked me, “Are we still a family even though Daddy is not here?”  I could have simply answered, “We are always a family, forever.”  But I chose to take the opportunity to teach her that death does not separate a family.  We talked about how my Daddy is in heaven but he is still my Daddy.  I reminded her that God was with Daddy where he was and with us at home.  She loved that and soon settled in and went to sleep.

We have stopped at the cemetery where my Dad and grandparents are buried and talked about what happens when someone dies.  I am so thankful that I can assure her that although their bodies are in the ground there, they are with Jesus and that someday we will all be together again.   

There are conversations with Dennis about “what if…”  I’m so glad we can talk openly about this but it is another conversation that I wish there was not a need to have.  

And then there are the conversations with my Heavenly Father that are filled with petitions for complete healing and restoration, peace as we walk through this journey, and grace to glorify Him during this difficult season.  

A friend of mine told me she has been praying Psalm 34 for us.  As I looked up this Psalm, my heart was knit with the psalmist’s heart.  Brooklyn and I have started memorizing this Psalm.  It is bringing me great peace and comfort. 

Psalm 34

¹I will bless the Lord at all times;
    his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
² My soul makes its boast in the Lord;
    let the humble hear and be glad.
³ Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
    and let us exalt his name together!

⁴ I sought the Lord, and he answered me
    and delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant,
    and their faces shall never be ashamed.
⁶ This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him
    and saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the Lord encamps
    around those who fear him, and delivers them.

⁸ Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
    Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
⁹ Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints,
    for those who fear him have no lack!
¹⁰ The young lions suffer want and hunger;
    but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

¹¹ Come, O children, listen to me;
    I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
¹² What man is there who desires life
    and loves many days, that he may see good?
¹³ Keep your tongue from evil
    and your lips from speaking deceit.
¹⁴ Turn away from evil and do good;
    seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous
    and his ears toward their cry.
¹⁶ The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
    to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
¹⁷ When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
    and delivers them out of all their troubles.
¹⁸ The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
    but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
²⁰ He keeps all his bones;
    not one of them is broken.
²¹ Affliction will slay the wicked,
    and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
²² The Lord redeems the life of his servants;
    none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.