An online friend of mine who recently lost her husband to this same cancer told me awhile ago that whenever our husband's conditions change we go through the reality check and grieving associated with gradually losing our husbands. It appears we are there again.
Over the last week I have noticed some subtle and sometimes not so subtle changes with Dennis. We have from the beginning of this journey been open with what is going on and we plan to continue to do so. We believe it helps you to pray more specifically for us and also maybe helps someone else along the way.
Dennis has had more pain lately. When Dennis changes position this is most evident. For awhile we used Tylenol before his aides came but that does not seem to be adequate anymore. We will be using a medication that comes in a patch format so he has continual delivery of the pain medication. Please pray that this provides the relief he needs from pain. Dennis is unable to identify where exactly the pain is coming from so that makes it more difficult to help him. A massage therapist has volunteered to come and and work with Dennis so we are hoping that will help as well.
I have also been observing some decline in Dennis' abilities. He can only use his left hand but has done well feeding himself with that hand. In the last few days he has been having trouble even doing that. I want to keep him as independent as possible but balance that with the frustration of not being able to accomplish the task. Please pray for me to balance his need for help and the amount of assistance I give him. He is not eating well the last few days and I'm not sure if it is frustration or that he is not hungry.
He also seems to be having trouble understanding me sometimes. I usually can tell by the look on his face if he understands or not. Yesterday I asked him if he was having trouble understanding something I had just said and he nodded yes. I asked him if this was new and again he nodded yes. I can only imagine how scary this must be for him. Please pray for us as we learn to communicate and meet his needs with this new deficit.
Please also remember to pray for Brooklyn as she endeavors to understand what is happening and how it impacts her. We don't hide things from her and I'll be talking to her in the days ahead about what to expect. There is a good possibility that Dennis will not know her or anyone at some point. I want her to be ready for this and not be taken by surprise. Please pray for her as she navigates the changes happening in her life.
We know God is walking this road with us and will continue to do so in the days of head. No part of this has taken Him by surprise and he is faithful. Psalm 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. God is ordering Dennis' life now as He has all of his life. We place our hope and trust in a faithful and loving heavenly Father.