Life Can Be Exhausting

There are days when I am just exhausted.  Today is one of them.  To be honest, I have a lot of them.  I’m physically tired and emotionally tired.  Between the stress of waiting on test results, the relief when they are ok (yes, even relief is tiring), keeping up with a family, picking up the extras that Dennis can’t do right now, doing the extras that come with a serious health issue and frankly, never getting a chance to just sleep in – I’m exhausted.  Oh, and I failed to mention an old golden retriever whose bladder is having trouble making it through the night so I sleep with one ear open because if she wakes up, I better be quick at getting her out the door.  Did I mention I tried putting bells on her and every time she even just turns over they ring and wake me up in a panic?  

Yesterday was a day “off” for me.  Ok, that really just meant I took a vacation day from work but it was not a day to rest or catch up on anything.  Got up 30 minutes later than usual, made sure Brooke was ready for school when her aunt picked her up.  Scanned and sent her homework to the teacher because Brooke realized it was on the kitchen table about 20 minutes into her ride to school, got ready for the day, headed to the hospital with Dennis for a doctor appointment and his treatment, did a quick stop at a shoe store to see if they had the boot in stock that I wanted, got home and warmed up a piece of pizza for lunch before heading to pick up Brooke from school (1.5 hours round trip in which we reviewed spelling words and memory verses), dozed off on the couch for a few minutes before making a quick supper for Brooke, took Brooke to Awana, ran home for about an hour before returning to pick up Brooke, got her to bed an hour past her bedtime, tried to watch some TV but there really was nothing worth watching on, fell into bed totally shot.  And this was a day off!  

In the midst of the exhaustion though, I do find rest and joy.  I am more and more convinced that God gave us Brooke to help us during this time.  She is a bright spot of light and joy.  Her bubbly personality, quick smile and tender heart, warm and encourage us.  We are blessed by this incredible child God so graciously led us too.  I absolutely love hearing her pray and thank God for the simple things in her life like sunshine, snow, doggies and anything that happened in the course of her day.  I love the way she looks at us when she talks.  Her eyes sparkle and give me a new look at the world through those sparkly eyes.  I am refreshed by every hug or request to be held and nothing really compares to watching her interact with her daddy.  Thank you Lord for this precious child you have entrusted to our care.   

And that is not even beginning to scratch the surface of the blessings that keep us going.  Recounting them always brings refreshment and determination to go on.  

• Dennis had a good MRI this week.
• Dennis is doing well although tired much of the time.
• There are so many people who minister to our needs in so many ways – rides, meals, cards, emails, phone calls…Most of these are done without us even making our needs known.
• Dennis has long-term disability through work that is helping to meet the financial needs during this time.
• The assurance that God is walking this road with us and will continue to meet all of our needs and grow us along the way.
• Good health insurance.

Please keep praying.

• Dennis started five days of chemo on Wednesday.
• That the tumor does not come back.
• For complete physical healing.
• For peace on the days when life can just be overwhelming.