Day-to-day life rolls on in a very day-to-day way. Meals need to be made, homework needs to be done, the house needs to be cleaned, the winter fades into spring--life goes on.
At the same time, the emptiness creeps in. In the last week I have felt a loneliness and longing for my soul-mate that is a very day-to-day emptiness. I can't even begin to count the number of times I catch myself thinking about something I want to tell him or ask him about. And then I remember he is not here to share these very day-to-day parts of my life.
I miss him so much and in so many ways. I'm often over-whelmed by all there is to do and to carry alone as I walk through these days of adjusting to life without Dennis by my side.
I'm learning to lean hard on God. His Word has reminded me over and over again that He is faithful. He is there to comfort and provide the wisdom and guidance my heart longs for.
As much as I miss Dennis, I know God has a purpose for the days ahead. The Psalmist says:
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Dennis' death was not a surprise to God. Before he was ever born his days were planned. Not only is this true for Dennis, it is true for me as well.
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever--
God has a plan for this season of my life. For the grief and loneliness--there is a purpose. I trust Him today and tomorrow--although this season is hard, God has promised He is with me and He is faithful and fully trustworthy.
The statutes you have laid down are righteous,
they are fully trustworthy.