Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A Milestone

Dennis is at the ½ way point today with the radiation.  As we have said before, fatigue is normal with the radiation and both drugs he is on.  In addition, hair loss and sensitive/painful skin at the radiation site is normal.  He is dealing with all of these.  He met with one of the radiation doctors and his case coordinator yesterday and they had some helpful suggestions for the painful skin.  He also has had some problems with is left eye.  There is a lot of tearing in it.  They suspect it is an eye infection so they gave him some antibiotics for it.  If it does not respond, then it could be from the radiation.  Please pray it is a simple infection.  Overall the staff at the hospital repeatedly tell him how well he is doing for all he has been through.  We find their words very encouraging as they see with people all the time who face this exact condition.

We both have our days when all that this diagnosis means just overwhelms us.  I was there yesterday.  Early on in this journey, when I would have a rough day it was about the fear of losing Dennis and being on my own.  Although that still looms in my mind, now it is more about how hard it is to see him go through all of this.  I grieve for the life we had before this diagnosis.  Simple things like getting in a car and being the passenger not the driver.  For Dennis being able to go where he wants, when he wants or to take Brooke on a date without me having to go along or drive them there.  I really hate being the garbage person.  There are two things he is not to do, clean up after the dogs and handle garbage.  We don’t have curbside pick-up so that means gathering it up, loading it into the truck and taking it to the dump.  Yuck!  Mostly, the tough days hit me when I am overtired and over extended.  Then even routine things appear like mountains.  We are both learning to accept offers of assistance and to ask for it when we need it.  This is not easy for us but at this point it is necessary.  There are things Dennis cannot do right now and that I am unable to do by myself.  We are grateful for so many of you who have offered to help.  Thank you.  

Also, so many of you who do not live close by have expressed their desire to be closer so they could help.  Please know your prayers for us are a vital part of our support and encouragement.  

Ultimately, our hope and peace rest in the Lord.  He walks with us, sustains us, lifts us up when we are struggling and gives us hope.  I’m so often reminded of Peter.  He stepped out of the boat and walked on the water with Jesus until he took his eyes off of the Lord and looked at the waves around him, it was then that he began to sink.  Like Peter, when my focus is on Christ, I don’t become troubled by the waves around me and can walk in the peace of Christ’s presence in this storm. 


  1. We are still praying here in Ohio and think of you all often. We are also sending you the biggest ((HUGS)) we can from afar......

    Stay strong and steadfast in the Lord and He will continue to walk with you and if need be carry you through this valley.

    In Him,

  2. Still praying here. I want to cry reading your post, I'm holding back tears. I remember it all so well....grieving the old days, having to do the trash...be the driver. All of it. Lots of hugs!