Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Imagine This

This morning your alarm goes off.  You lay there for a few minutes and think, “It can’t be morning already!” You hit the snooze, roll back over and before you know it, the alarm is sounding again.  You turn it off and reluctantly start waking up.  You begin thinking about everything you have to do today.  Get the kids off to school, work is going to be crazy – way more to do than is possible in eight hours, looks like it is going to be a long day, family time tonight before collapsing back into bed.  But at least this is the last day of this crazy schedule this week.  You’ll get through today and then have three days off.  

You survive Thursday but it was crazy and Monday will be just as bad.  Hopefully you can refuel over the long weekend.  Friday is a catch-up day.  Dentist appointment, some medical tests and lunch with your wife and daughter are on the agenda.  Lunch is fun and relaxing and provides some really good down time.  Everyone is home by five.  Maybe a movie tonight after supper would be fun but then the phone rings and nothing in your life will ever be the same. 

  • You won’t be going back to work for a very long time.
  • You aren’t able to drive.
  • You face major surgery.
  • You have medication that makes you feel tired and sick.
  • You spend most days at home alone.
  • You don’t know if you will ever recover.
  • You don’t know if you do recover if there will be long-term changes to your life.
  • You worry how this will impact those you love.

Can you even imagine?  I know I can’t.  But this is the road Dennis is on and to some degree we are on together, although I’ll admit that I can’t totally understand how this must feel for him.  My road has its own challenges.

  •  I’m pulled between the need to work and the desire to be home or with Dennis at all of his treatments.
  •  I’m scared.
  • I miss simple things, like being able to do something as a family and not have to worry if Dennis is too tired. 
  •  I miss being the one Dennis takes care of and instead I am taking care of him.  
  •  I’m the only driver.  (I have always preferred to ride than to drive.)

Yes, our lives are very different than they were before that phone call.  At times, it is overwhelming.  But God is also walking along this road with us.  I have seen Dennis’ faith shine through from the very beginning.  His desire has been that God would be glorified as he travels this path.  That does not mean it is always easy or that he wishes this would not have happened.  In fact, there are times when the day-to-day living with brain cancer is discouraging and scary.  

So, as you pray for us, please remember to pray for:

  • Healing and full recovery.
  •  Living daily with the drastic changes that have come into our lives. 
  • Peace in our hearts as we face the uncertainties ahead.
  • A clean MRI on Nov. 14th.
  • Wisdom for the doctor regarding Dennis chemo dose.  Balancing the negative side effects that have impacted him this month with the potential benefits of this higher dose.
  •  Me to know how to best help and encourage Dennis.

Romans 15:13 -  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Dennis and Ellen,
    As a person who cares for my wife who has MS, I can really relate to your situation. We are so time constrained. It is hard to live with the present when we can't see the future good, or bad.

    Rejoice that you have each other during this difficult time. Rejoice that Brook is with you to share your family and make it complete.

    Know that we appreciate your honest messages and know that you are in our prayers.

    Tom Nesler